It is the time a year for resolutions!  When setting a resolution, it is easy to be self-critical instead of noticing ourselves for the good and the areas that may need some improvement.  I recently read a positive psychology-based article about self-compassion and how to notice our imperfections without criticizing ourselves.

Self-compassion is the idea that we provide ourselves with kindness and understanding when doing a self-evaluation.  Self-compassion is the ability to allow yourself to make mistakes so that you can learn and grow from them.  Being imperfect is a part of the human condition, even if it seems that some people are flawless.  Accepting your faults gives you the ability to address them if that is what you choose or embrace as a part of you.  Most important thing is that you move through the issues instead of defending or attacking yourself. 

Here are some steps on how to become more self-compassionate:

1.            Forgive yourself: mistakes are a part of being human, pick yourself up, adjust if needed and try again.

2.            Don’t compare: accept your weakness not because you approve of them, we are all a work in progress.

3.            Gratitude: don’t focus on what you want but what you currently have.  The small things are what make the big picture beautiful.

4.            Generous:  Make sure your needs are met before giving to others.  If you are always taking of others and not focusing on your own needs there is a danger of burning yourself out.  Take the time to refill yourself of happiness so you have strength to help others when needed. 

4.            Mindful:  take a step back, see what is happening in the here and now, recognize how your reacting to the situation.  Commuting is my least favorite part of the day but I am wasting a portion of my life wishing I was somewhere else.  It would be more mindful to take steps to make my commute more enjoyable.

By Sara Hollis, MA, LCPC – Sara@Found4Life.org – (262) 729-9747 – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/sara-j-hollis-wauconda-il/420672